The Results of a Trip to the Mall
by Digigoose
Summary: The sequel to Tai's New Secret Weapon...read that first.


The Results of a Trip to the Mall

Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine etc…

Warning: A very strange story and the sequel to Tai's New Secret Weapon. Read it first. a pwp, you have been warned.

A/N: This story takes place in the real world.

The digidestined had decided to go shopping at the mall, or rather…Mimi, Sora, and Kari had. The guys, and Daisy, (read Tai's New Secret Weapon) were forced to go except for Matt who had some sort of an appointment and was spared. The digimon were at Tai's house because they didn't want to attract too much attention so they didn't go either.

"What! You can't drag me in there!" All the boys turned bright red as they looked to where TK had pointed. 

"Come on, it's not that bad." Mimi said and grabbed TK and Izzy and headed for Victoria's Secret.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Lemme go lemme go!" TK shouted.

Izzy began tying on his laptop for a plan to get out of Mimi's grasp.

"Ah hah! Found it…" Izzy muttered, "but this is ridiculous unless it keeps me out of that place." He said and shuddered, bracing himself, he shouted, "If you drag me in there, I'll pick my nose and put my buger in your nose!" Mimi instantly dropped his arm and stared, as did all the other digidestined. 

"WHATT?????????!!!!!!!!" Mimi shouted after about five minutes of silence.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" All the digidestined, even Daisy, cracked up.

"Where did you _get_ that!" Tai asked, still laughing.

"And coming from Izzy…" Sora said.

"…well it saved me from going in there." Izzy said under his breath, "between my dignity and Victoria's Secret, I chose to sacrifice the dignity." He said.

Unfortunately, Mimi was still determined to go into the store but before she could get herb hands on anyone, Tai had grabbed his hamster and ran. 

"Let's escape while we can!" Tai shouted and ran for his life, shooting out the front entrance, followed closely by the other guys.

=*=*=*=*=*=*=

"Whew! I…don't…think…they're…following…us…anymore…" Izzy panted.

"Thanks God!" TK said. "Matt would've killed me if he found me in there! You know, he says it's a woman's store."

"…bet he goes in there all the time." Joe said.

"huh, what?" TK asked.

"nothing." Joe said quickly. "Uh hey Tai! What're you staring at?" he changed the subject.

All this time Tai had been staring at the ground with a petrified expression on his face. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A bug! Kill it Daisy! Kill it!" Tai ordered.

"An African bitela hymenopteran insect. I didn't know those existed in Japan." Izzy said.

"A what?!" TK asked. "Looks like an ant to me."

"That's what an African bitela hymenopteran insect is! An African beetle ant!" Izzy said exasperated. (A/N: This is not really true, just a few words I looked up in the dictionary.)

"Oh!" TK said. "But it looks like a regular ant."

"Oh look at it here." Izzy began what sounded like a science lesson. "See these forelegs, they're…" Within seconds, TK was asleep.

"Kill it Daisy! I tell you KILL IT!" Tai shouted. Daisy simply looked at the ant. "ARE YOU A KILLER HAMSTER OR NOT!" Tai shouted.

"Um, actually, she's not." Joe said.

"BUT SHE'S SUPPOSED TO BE ONE!" Tai protested and went back to yelling. "KILL IT! KILL IT OR I WON'T FEED YOU FOR A WEEK!" 

At the most recent threat, Daisy waddled over to the ant, where Izzy and TK were bent over, studying it, and sat on it.

"Aughhhhhhhhhhhh! You killed the African bitela hymenopteran insect, you murderer!" Izzy shouted.

"Thank you, Daisy!" aid TK who woke up when he heard Izzy yell.

"Very good!" Tai said and began to walk down the sidewalk once more.

=*=*=*=*=*=*=

The girls had finished their shopping a few hours after and came out of the mall; Sora and Mimi both with about ten bags each and Kari with nothing at all.

"Another fine trip to the mall." Sora nodded.

"Yep." Mimi agreed and looked at Kari who was empty-handed. "What did you get, Kari?" she asked.

"Oh, nothing except my new outfit." Kari replied. She was dressed in a shiny, yellow body suit and her hair was up in a clip.

"Uh huh, and you know you look kinda…strange…" Mimi said.

"WHAT??!! You don't know who I am?" Kari shrieked. 

"Um, no. Are we supposed to?" Sora asked.

"I'M KARI SPEARS!" Kari shouted and began to dance in a few not so smooth motions and sang in a broken, ridiculously high voice. "Oops! I did it again! I played with your heart…and lost in the game…"

Mimi and Sora both covered their ears.

"Uhh…Kari, you really aren't that good at…um…being Britney Spears…" Sora began.

Kari ignored her and started on her next song. "You drive me craaaaaaaaaaaaazy!…"

"Oh yeah, you are." Mimi said. "Let's head for the park." She suggested and they did.

=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=

The guys, and Daisy, were in the park, meanwhile, and were just kind of walking around and being bored. Daisy was eating every daisy she saw and it was all quite uneventful until they came to the fountain in the middle of the park.

"A fountain!" Joe shouted and raced forward, pulling his wallet out at the same time. With a crazed glint in his eyes, he began pulling out all the change he had. "I wish to be brave…I wish to be macho…I wish I could get straight A pluses for the rest of my life even though I already do…I wish…"

After spending all his change, Joe turned to the others, "do you guys have any change for a fifty dollar bill?"

"Uh, yeah." The others replied and gave him their change and Joe resumed again.

"I wish I could get rid of these wimpy glasses…I wish Jim would disappear…I wish I wouldn't faint at the sight of blood…I wish Mimi would like me…" He said.

"Hey Mimi! How'd the shopping go?" Tai asked as the girls appeared. 

"Hey Joe. I heard what you said…" Mimi said.

"…Oh my gosh! Mimi?!" Joe shouted and passed out.

"Man, he wasted all his money for nothing.." Kari said, "and he could've donated to me to buy a new CD with. Hey TK! Guess who I am!" She asked.

"Britney Spears!" He said.

"No…I'm _Kari_ Spears!" Kari said. "Sometimes I run…sometimes I hide…"

"Cool! _I _wanna be Britney Spears too!" TK shouted and began singing. " Doooooooooooon't, don't let me be the last to knoooooooooooooow!" He screeched at the top of his lungs.

"No no, TK! Like this!" Kari admonished. " Doon't, don't let me be the last to knooooooooooooooow! Doooooooooon't hold it baack, just let it go……." She sang.

"Hey! I think TK sings better than Kari." Tai whispered to Daisy out of hearing range. Daisy nodded.

=*=*=*=*=*=*=

Matt found the other digidestined at the park, after his appointment; Joe still out cold, Kari and TK shrieking their heads off, Tai, whispering diabolically to what looked like a sleeping hamster, Izzy on his laptop, and Mimi and Sora trying shut TK and Kari up while trying to revive Joe and neither attempts working. 

"Um guys?" Matt mumbled.

"Oh hey Matt! Give us a hand here please." Mimi said trying to cover both TK and Kari's mouths.

"Uhhhhhhh…" Matt looked very confused as he had a right to be.

"Matt! Where were you ol' buddy!" Tai came up and slapped him on the back hard, several times.

"Nowhere.." Matt mumbled.

"So quiet all of a sudden?" Tai asked.

"…" 

"Are you eating something Matt?" TK asked. "I want some too." He said and soon all the digidestined were crowded around him trying to see what he was eating.

"I'm not eating anything." Matt said desperately trying to keep his mouth closed.

"YesyouareyesyouareyesyouareandIwantsometoo!" TK shouted.

"Yeah Matt! We want some too." Mimi said.

"It must be really good if he won't share." Sora nodded wisely.

"Yeah! Me'n Daisy want some too!" Tai protested.

"ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! I'M NOT EATING ANYTHING! MY TEETH HURT LIKE HECK CUZ I JUST GOT THESE FREAKIN' BRACES!!!!!" Matt shouted at the top of his lungs and bared his teeth showing everyone the braces.

"You…got…braces!!??" Everyone asked and gaped at his teeth.

Matt turned pink, then red, and maroon. "Sheesh!"

Joe woke up and stared at Matt. "You got braces??!!" he asked.

"Yeah and if anyone says a thing about 'em, I'll make sure they don't have any teeth to put braces on!" He threatened and rubbed his knuckles.

"Cool! Braces! I want some too!" TK said. 

"Why would you want braces, Britney Spears doesn't have any." Kari said.

"But I think she did when she was a kid! And everything Matt and Britney spears does is cool so come on!" TK shouted and dragged Kari along to the orthodontist.

"Yeah! Let's go and get some braces Daisy! We can be called the Bracesdestined!" Tai shouted. "And a new rule is everyone has to have braces!" He declared.

"What? No way! It'll ruin my beautiful face!" Mimi protested.

"Uh, they're supposed to help you look better." Hey! Maybe I'll look macho if I get 'em, after all, Matt does…" Joe said and rushed off after the others.

"…whatever…" Sora said and she, Izzy, and Mimi rushed off after the other digidestined.

"Hey! That's my line!" Matt said as he watched them leave. "Wait for me!"

The wonderful, most fascinating, end of the story….if you got this far...

I warned you at the beginning so don't flame me.

  



End file.
